Life lessons from a 36 year old.

16 Jul 2018
Chad St. James
Categories: Latest News, Lifestyle +Travel

A few weeks ago I turned 36. Despite the fact that I'm still surprised I made it to 30, each year around this time I find myself reflecting on the lessons I've learned living this somewhat all over the place life. So I've decided to share some of these with you. Yes, everyone is different, but these are just some from my personal experience.

Immerse yourself in what inspires you most.

It's hard to be positive in a world that is full of negatives. Whether you switch on the TV or log on to social media, we are often flooded with doom and gloom. So it's more important to ever to find the things that motivate us.

Whether it's listening to your favourite band, strolling through a gallery, hanging with like-minded people, sticking positive quotes all over the walls, or sitting in a park looking up at the clouds, find what inspires you. Grasp hold of it tightly and let it motivate you to greatness.

Self-worth comes from within.

When I was leaving Byron Bay in 2005, my housemate wrote the following words on a piece of paper, "Never judge yourself on what others may think of you. Because ultimately they are just a manifestation of their own inner-insecurities." I should have paid more attention to those words when she gave them to me. The joys of hindsight, right?

I spent a significant part of my life worrying about what others thought of me. So much that I found it dictated how I portrayed myself. In the process, I lost who I was. There is a fine line between taking note of constructive criticism and basing who you are off other people's opinions of you.

Yes, we often cross paths with people that will inflict their own self-hatred and insecurities onto others. A lot of the time these people lack the ability to be happy within themselves. As cliched as this sounds you're one of a kind. As much as they might try, no one else can ever be you. So DO YOU and have pride in knowing that there will never be a substitute for who you are! In doing this, you will find you will live a life true to yourself, and not one that others expect of you.

Family is what you make it.

There's an old saying, "You can choose your friends but not your family." I disagree, family isn't always defined by blood. It's defined by commitment and love. It means being there for each other in the good days and bad days. Even when your patience is stretched so much that you just want to scream at each other. It means never giving up on each other!

Not all of us are fortunate to have good relationships with our parents, siblings etc. However, I've come to realise it is what I choose to make it. I have certain people in my life that mean more to me than my own blood. Over the years these people have shown me the true definition of family and with all honesty, I would not be who I am today if it wasn't for them.

Love is like perfection, it comes in many different forms.

Someone very dear to me once said these words and they've stuck with me ever since. It was strange because, at the time when he said these words to me, I didn't quite know what he meant, but as the years have passed I realised how profound they were.

I've had my fair share of friendships/relationships over the years. Some more influential in my life than others. We learn to live with the choices we make. While they change us they also open us up to a world of endless possibilities to experience the many different forms that love comes in. It's something to be embraced.

Life happens. Sometimes it calls you to go in separate directions so that you can both grow into the people life is calling you to be. It doesn't mean what you had together you won't experience with another. Actually, you might experience something entirely different or even more powerful with the next. But for that to happen, you need to be open to love and the many forms it comes in. As the saying goes, "It's better to have loved than not loved at all."

Know when enough is enough.

Whether it's a relationship, friendship, family member, current job, living situation, there's a point where some things are no longer playing a positive role in your life. It's at these times when you need to know enough is enough.

I'm not saying throw your hands up and walk away at the first hurdle. Just as some things are worth fighting for, some things are not. Yes, it's important to give things a chance and opportunity for them to improve. However, there's also that point where you find yourself saying, "I can't do this anymore."

If you believe you've done everything that you can do to make the situation better and it feels it's to no prevail, it's time for you accept enough is enough and move on. Life is too short to be held back by negative influences in your life. While it might not always be easy to walk away, in the grand scheme of things it can be the most emancipating thing one can do. It's been in these times I've found I have most flourished and you can too.

Always be willing to try something different.

We risk getting too caught up in our comfort zones. More often than not we find it's easier to stay within them than step outside of them. In doing so life goes by and before we know it we're faced with opportunities lost and a bagful of regret. We generally base our inability to step out of comfort zones as a result of our upbringings, past hurts, personal fears and so forth. I'll be straight up with you, they're all just EXCUSES!

I have a massive phobia of heights. However, a few years ago a group of my friends had got together to go skydiving for a mate's birthday. Much to my hesitance and pride, I was dragged along. The short version, I did something I never thought I would do. I went BLOODY SKYDIVING. Do heights still freak me out? Yes, but at least I know that the fear won't stop me from trying something new.

I'm not saying right now drop what you're doing and jump out of a plane. It's not for everybody and I'm not even sure if that's for me. But you should always be willing to try something new. The last thing you want when you're lying on your deathbed is regretting the things you could have done.

Take a break and get back to nature.

I've been very fortunate to have seen a lot of Australia and realise we live in a beautiful country. Sometimes we get so caught up with work and our busy social lives that we forget the true beauty that surrounds us. Life in the suburban jungle can be suffocating at times. We were never meant to spend our whole lives on concrete. So take some time out!

It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. Sometimes the most relaxing and stress relieving thing you can do is just get back out to nature. It might mean pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere for the weekend. Hiking a mountain and looking down at everything from a different perspective. Taking a moment to stare up the vast wondrous stars overhead or simply finding somewhere quiet to watch the sunset. Remember to take a moment, forget about everything and soak in the true beauty of nature.

Also, it never hurts to take a break from social media.

Nothing stays the same.

One particular night I was out dancing with my friends at Fluffy. With the thumping music, flashing lights, copious amounts of alcohol and my close friends smiling around me, we danced up a storm. I remember thinking this is the life. What more could I want?

My friend's mother was visiting at the time and had joined us for a night on the town. She proceeded to say how happy we looked and how important it is to enjoy these moments adding "because nothing stays the same." I didn't quite comprehend what she was saying that night. I blame it on the alcohol.

Quite a few years have passed since that night. Friendships have come and gone while some have passed the test of time. There have been various career choices as there have housemates. Familiar faces became memories while the face of our inevitable mortality has reared its head time and time again. I understand her words clearly now. So enjoy those little moments in the present. Embrace them. Because in the blink of an eye everything can change and it usually does.

Even as I finish typing this, I realise there's more that I could add, but maybe I'll save that for a Part Two. That's the thing with life, there's always something new to learn.

  • Our Brands

  • Precious Entertainment
  • Fluffy
  • Out Events & Marketing