Game of Thrones Recap: Why can't we have nice things in Westeros???

06 May 2019
Chad St. James
Categories: Film + TV

This week's episode of Game of Thrones was a little slower in pace compared two last week's rollercoaster of an episode. But if this episode showed you anything, it is you just can't have nice things in Game of Thrones.

Episode 4: The Last of The Starks

The episode kicks off with a funeral for the dead. Which was kind of nice for a change when you looked back at the series and realised the characters never really got a chance to mourn, I mean when you're always going from battle to battle who really has time to shed a few tears? It comes as no surprise that funeral of Jorah, Lyanna, Edd, and Theon gave the characters at least this chance to shed a few tears but with only two episodes left, they didn't waste any time in working out the next plan of attack for the iron throne.

But first, let's discuss the victory dinner. Daenerys attempts at playing her cards and calls out Gendry who's currently looking for his bae. As he walks by the mother of dragons announces the fact that he's the son of Robert Baratheon. Just when you think the shits gonna hit the fan, she decides to make him Lord of Storm's End. She also points out to Tyrion that he's not the only clever one. It's clear she's trying to get some brownie points, and of course, Sansa sees right through that shit. If looks could kill.

Finally, she makes a toast to Arya Stark who obviously couldn't care less because she didn't even rock up. Then Tormond being the drunk wildling that he is makes a toast to Jon with Daenerys getting uber jealous. Obviously, she's worried as to whether they will finally accept her as the queen or should she just burn everyone to death with her dragons. Decisions, decisions. Also, Varys watches her rather suspiciously. Maybe he's getting second thoughts on who's side he is on.

Brienne finds herself involved with the Westeros equivalent of "I Never" that results with her awkwardly revealing she's a virgin. She leaves, Jaime follows, and Tormond is left feeling a little heartbroken. Sansa has a brief chat with the Hound who says he could have saved her from all the crap she endured if she had left King's Landing with him. “Without Littlefinger and Ramsay and the rest, I would have stayed a Little Bird all my life,” she replies. Which probably eases the guilt that the Hound has been harbouring for quite a few years. You gotta admit. He's just a big teddy bear with a burnt face.

Gendry finally finds Arya who's celebrating in her own way by practicing her archery. He tells her his latest news and then proposes. Just when you think this is the beginning of Westeros' hottest new couple, she instantly shoots it down saying “That’s not me .” She knows what she wants and won't settle for anything else. Respect!

Jaime ends up knocking on Brienne's door, and the moment we've been waiting several seasons for finally happens. That's right they get down and dirty, and we're shippin' them all the way. However, things aren't going as well with Jon and Daenerys. Jon is a little drunk, and the pair get a little kissy until they remember they're aunty and nephew. Awkward.

Daenerys uses the moment to also make Jon swear to secrecy about his parentage. The girl is clearly paranoid about the Iron Throne. Obviously, Jon is torn between telling his sisters and the weird love he has for his aunty.

The tensions continue in the war room. They're trying to work out how to take down Cersei without destroying King's Landing at the same time. Sansa wants to allow time for the armies (well what's left of them) to rest, and Daenerys doesn't want to waste any time and fuck shit up. Much to Sansa's dismay Jon sides with his queen. Talk about pussy whipped.

The Stark siblings hold an intervention for Jon out at the Weirwood tree. Sansa and Arya cut to the chase saying they don't trust Daenerys while Bran tags along in his wheels. After a few awkward facial expressions and Bran saying "It's your choice," it's time to finally let the cat out of the bag that Jon is actually their cousin.

With the armies heading to King's Landing to kick Cersei off the Iron Throne, Jamie has decided to stay back at Winterfell with Brienne. Aw, cute. He catches up with Tyrion, and the pair have a little bro chat only to be interrupted by Bronn. Remember how Cersei has hired him to assassinate them? Well, he's got his own cards to play that resulted in him getting a better deal than what Cersei offered initially.

Arya and the Hound bump into each other on horseback. It looks like Westeros #1 Road Trip buddies are back at it again, rather than fleeing King's Landing, they're returning to it. It also seems like the pair has no intention of returning either. If they kill off Arya, I'm gonna be so freakin' pissed!

Jon says his farewell to Tormund who is heading back up North. Jon gifts him with Ghost which means this is probably the last we're seeing of the guy who proclaims to have fed on giants breast milk and Jon's famous but severely underused pet direwolf. Jon then says goodbye to Sam and Gilly who as it turns out will soon be proud parents. Something makes me think this isn't the last we will see of the pair.

It's from here that the episode then takes a turn for the worst and it's all thanks to Euron Greyjoy. One minute we've got Grey Worm and Missandei holding hands on the deck looking super cute and next minute all hell breaks loose when they're ambushed by Greyjoy's fleet. Firstly Euron turns Rhaegal into a pin cushion plummeting into the sea. Now Daenerys' dragons are down to one.

Euron then turns on the opposing fleet shooting up the other ships and things aren't looking good with the survivors making their way ashore only to realise Missandei is missing. As it turns out Cersei has her, and she's also convinced Euron that she's pregnant with his baby. She really is the queen of deception.

After finding out the news of what's happening down south, Jaime decides to leave in the hope of saving Cersei. But that's not before a heartbreaking scene between him and Brienne who tries to convince him to stay to no prevail. Damn you, Jaime, just when we were really liking you, you go and break Brienne's heart! It will be interesting to see how this plays out. His return to King's Landing is pretty much a death sentence.

In the closing scenes of the episode, we have a face-off with Daenerys' crew and Cersei's and of course, it doesn't go well. They've got Missandei up on the ramparts on display with Mount Clegane standing nearby. Cut a long story short Tyrion tries to appeal to Cersei's human side and the love of her unborn child. Just when you think she has had a change of heart, she asks Missandei for any last words. She replies with "Dracarys," and in one of the most heart-shattering scenes of this season, Clegane decapitates her as everyone watches on with her body and head splattering onto the ground out the front of King's Landing.

The last shot we have is of Daenery's face, and it's clear she's out for blood.

It's safe to say next week there will be a reckoning and a possible queen of ashes by the time Daenerys is done!

On a lighter note, did you notice the Starbucks cup?

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